Can there ever be a happy
Many victims of psychopathic abuse liken it to living in a horror movie and sadly
most victims will never be quite the same after their experience. Often they lose money in vast quantities, risk
their sexual health, their sanity and more. Many are left with long term PTSD and worst. The journey to
recovery after can be quite daunting but sometimes there are happy endings.
When I first started writing this blog in 2009 I was on the verge of bankruptcy. With
a long term IVA to pay off as a result of trusting someone who turned out to be pathological.
Over the past 5 years I've worked and campaigned tirelessly both educating people
about pathology and giving support to other victims. During the latter part of 2013 I stopped focussing on
helping others and put all the energy into trying to get my financial affairs in order. Some of the sacrifices I
made in order to be in a better financial position included seeking help and giving up acupuncture temporarily
in order to take on a full time job that provided regular income. During that time I worked with vulnerable
adults and learning disabilities and it taught me many valuable lessons in realising that many people are a lot
worst off than us. I also took an eye opening trip to the Gaza strip.
Part of the financial recover process included taking on a full time job and working
many extra hours a week to slowly pay off what was left of the debts.
When it finally dawned on me that working 70-100 hours a week to pay off the final
part of the debt that was left my health was starting to suffer.
Prior to meeting Mr Crapmatic as I politely call him in the book, I'd always planned
on having an early retirement. Always wanted to live by the sea in Thailand. Usually quite careful with money
had I not met him I'd most probably be living in a nice villa by the sea. Realising I still wanted this dream of
living someone hot by the sea I realised that sometimes due to circumstance we have to readjust our dreams and
make them less ambitious. So I ventured on a few holidays to Egypt and decided to take a chance and take early
semi retirement there. The red sea is beautiful and its possible to live here cheaply. You don't need to be a
millionaire to feel rich and appreciate the simple things in life like enjoying a healthy lunch or sitting on
the beach. I may not have a villa but the apartment is beautiful.
So as I type this post in June 2015 sitting on the balcony of my new apartment
feeling the breeze and warmth of the sun on my face I wanted to give a small ray of hope to everyone who has
been abused or continues to be abused by sociopaths. The moment you realise something is wrong start to question
it. There is no turning back after. Educate yourself and seek some good therapy. Whatever is no longer working -
get rid of it. That may include other toxic people in your life. It may even include losing some of the things
you were most attached to including possessions.
There is still the odd bad day when PTSD kicks in but I've learned to be more
tolerant of my own failings and more importantly how to say NO which helps in a country like this were abuse of
women is so high. You will bump into character disturbed individuals everywhere. I've even met a few
here but you quickly learnt to walk away quickly and mix with those people with healthy
personalities. I am learning to take each day as it comes and spend time in nature balancing the positive
and negative experiences that led me to move here.
As the veils slip off the journey to enlighting yourself and self discovery may be
difficult, you will be "tested" but you learn not to take it personally It may well be the most
challenging journeys you have ever made but eventually given hard work, patience and some self respect there are
some happier endings including mine. If you search on forums and websites there are many inspirational stories
from women and men who have overcome the most extreme abuse and come out the other end smiling.
If you would like to learn more about psychopaths, sociopaths and those with NPD you
can find my story on Amazon. The first book is a reflection of how disorganised and disjointed you may feel when
you first find out what is wrong. The second book The Phoenix Spirit contains many other inspiring stories from
strong women and men who too have overcome abuse and gone from being victim, to survivor and eventually went on
to have happy lives again.