Better the Devil I know
There is no question when it comes to attracting Dark Souls, in particular sociopaths
and psychopaths that they can target and con anyone. However, it's very difficult for anyone to understand that the
psychopathic personality goes out to with the sole purpose of intentially victimisating anyone they come into
So why would someone who is an empath feel so wounded and hurt when they are
exploited by a Dark Soul. After all most people would say “get over it”, “move on” “they could have conned
Well this is true. However once the empath or co-dependent, who is often so ignorant
about these types of personalities in the first place, starts to realise what they have been dealing with they may
also start to realise that their family of origin has the very same traits that the person they have just been
conned by and a cognitive dissonance starts to develop partly due to denial. Most empaths feel
that it is all their fault based on their faulty belief system and most of them don't want to believe that the
person they are in relationship is a manipulative predator because that would be far to painful for them to
Not only do they start to realise that everything about the relationship was a lie or
a façade they may also start to realise that everything else they held dear was a lie too. This has a knock on
effect on their healing process.
They are grieving the loss of the narcissistic, sociopathic person whom never
even existed in the first place.
They are coming to terms with the fact that their own family of origin were a
They are grieving over the loss of their own identity because they feel that
their own childhood was a lie too.
There is an expression, “better the devil you know” and when the victim starts having
therapy they may start to look at the reasons why they attracting them in the first place based on their upside
down map of their belief systems about themselves.
They may see a number of similarities between their current partner in their own
parents and this forms a dichotomy whereby the victim doesn't want to believe that their partner is evil, (just
like their own parents) and makes it far more difficult for them to escape them than perhaps other victims
In their minds what feels so “real” with the Dark Soul feels unconsciously familiar,
just like it did when they were at home.
As a result the healing process takes longer. As a rule of thumb the more childhood
abuse the person has had the less likely they are able to be able to leave the Dark Soul as quick as other
individuals unless they deal with their own childhood trauma first.
If you would like to read more about the Empath perspective on why Abused empaths
feel this way, have a look at this excellent article here: http://empathicperspectives.blogspot.com/2010/11/abused-empath.html