Who is the fool, Them or
Why we try to understand the
A normal empathic individual will do their utmost to understand a psychopath
especially if they have no idea the person is a psychopath or has a personality disorder in the first place.
Throughout the ages most people have had a fascination with evil so when we suddenly
find ourselves coming across someone who ticks all the boxes when it comes to behaving like the Dr Jekyll or Mr
Hyde or even the devil themselves, we are left with a reality check. Do these psychopathic
individuals really mean what they are saying. Are they just joking when they say things like I want to kill or
hurt someone. We think to ourselves, “Surely they cant be serious” “They really cant be that evil”. We question why
would they do such strange things?
When it comes to their crazy making behaviour e.g. playing mind games and gaslighting, unless you have had the lovely misfortune of having
met a psychopath or had a relationship with one most people don't actually know what has hit them until its too
late. For those that don't know what gaslighting is, its is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is
presented to the victim with the intent of making them doubt their own memory and perception. It may simply be
the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre
events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. The sole aim is to make the victim of the
gaslighting behaviour end up thinking they are crazy. Usually the person doing it is crazy themselves and it can
also involve verbal projection whereby they use creative means to project their own insanity onto
Recently I met a person who decided to do a bit of gaslighting on me. Fortuneately
they didn't know I had written a book about it and they thought they had spotted the little red neon flashing sign
above my head that says "come and get me". They decided to play a few little mind games on me trying to make me
think I had lost my marbles or that my memory was failing me. Had I not known about gaslighting or written Dark
Souls I would have come out thinking I was starting to lose my mind. It was done in a very insiduous way and
involved lots of projection and moving stuff around. However the fact that I knew straight away what they were
doing, becoming immediately aware of their games, they weren't able to have any hold on me.
Having spent much of my life around crazy people and thinking I was crazy myself,
wasting time and energy trying to “understand” them I have come to a realisation as to why we as victims may be so
fascinated by them. Its usually because of the cognitive dissonance that reminds us that underneath all people must
be good. This does not apply to a psychopath and is one of the reasons people are so fascinated with them.
Claudia Moscovici talks about the psycopath as Evil Jokers (The Dark Knight and other psychopathic characters). Remember the psychopathic
person is all about mind games and winning and without a willing fool to play games with they will soon move on
to another willing victim. Psychopaths are known for experiencing great pleasure at hurting and playing
games with their victims.
But who is the fool really ?
The psychopath sees their victims as a fool, an idiot, prey, victim, a target that
they can use and abuse. They hide behind a mask thinking they are invisible to their disguise and that victims
cannot spot them. If you have a history of abuse the psychopath has an inate ability to hone in on victims but many
victims learn how to spot a psychopath more readily if they have already been victimised.
Once a victim empowers themselves and uncovers their mask of insanity and we learn why and how they do things we no longer
have a fascination with trying to "understand" them. We no longer want to help them by
being dependent enablers or figure out why they do evil things.
Once the victim understands that evil is not some glamourous
fictitious hollywood character from a horror movie whose sole modus operandi is to
exploit and manipulate who is trying to create a false persona so that we believe them to be
something they are not. Because we understand that under the facade of the
psychopathic personality they are hard wired to be different. We stop playing into their hands and we
see them for the fools that they really are.
Once we educate ourselves the fascination with evil suddenly dissolves from
being a unhealthy obsession for what appeared to be the charismatic, macabre, charmer who we
stupidly think "accidentally" does bad things to good people to a more surreal kind of character that no
holds glamour or real appeal. Since the psychopath lacks empathy, and without willing players it becomes
a game of solitaire for both the abuser and abused. They may be evil but the other 3 dimensional attributes,
such as empathy, kindness, charm and charisma, that we gave to them start to slip away.
Once the joker exposes himself as the true trickster he really is they are
unable to play their games anymore. As their house of cards starts to fall around them they reveal themselves as
nothing more than a cardboard cutout, hiding in the pack and the joke is then firmly on them.
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